Wait for Me, I'll Write you Letters
by suspendedonsilverwings
Summary: One woman: Paine. Three men: Baralai, Gippal and Nooj. Four friends from childhood. Love evolves, things change...and it seems that people forget each other in time from the hurt...or do they?
1. Chapter One

Wait for me, I'll write you Letters 

-Suspendedonsilverwings

Her eyes scanned the sky for...well she wasn't really sure what she was searching for, but that she was searching---that at least, she knew. The lush grass beneath her had its normally vibrant green hue dulled by the falling of the sun as the curtains of dusk's stars drew themselves sharply over the vivid sunset, multi-faceted like a precious gemstone. Last fading rays of crimson matched the unique shade of her eyes, like garnets that sparkled with something that couldn't be articulated. Footsteps padded softly on the grass, nearing her, but she didn't bother to turn her head. 

"What are you doing out so late by yourself?" a familiar and kind voice resonated through the stillness. The young man who spoke stood a little behind her and to her right, tall with a lithe frame, deeply tanned flesh, platinum white hair and liquid amber eyes.  Somewhat aloof, she continued to analyze the sky above her and merely shrugged in her grounded state as the answering voice sighed. "It's not safe. With Sin growing there are more fiends than ever...you promised you'd be careful." His voice was a combination of reprimanding, frustration and worry. He crossed his arms, discouraged by her behavior---not that she was ever more responsive but that didn't change how he felt---and her stubborn refusal to listen directly. 

"Look around Baralai, there's nothing here to hurt her," a new voice came and was quickly joined by another---a young man with long brown hair, down to behind his knees, and fair-skinned with small silver frames that set off his eyes strangely, like they could pull you in almost. 

"Yeah, only us!" the third smiled, an Al-Bhed. "And we're not dangerous!"

"Now that's debatable, don't you think?" Paine arched an eyebrow and commented dryly. Gippal seemed to consider it and then shook his head.

"Whaddya mean?" he queried and Nooj tried to muffle his laughter at Gippal's expense. 

"She's kidding," Baralai summarized and Gippal blinked in realization. Shrugging, unaffected by her trademark, light-hearted cynicism, the Al-Bhed strode over in front of her and bent down, resting his hands on his knees. 

"What _are_ you doing?" he asked, quirking a smile only Gippal seemed to possess, kind of crooked but like his eye-patch, it had its own uncanny charm. 

"Nothing," she replied, gazing at him steadily. "What's it to you?" she challenged and Gippal put his hands up in mock defense.

"Just askin' a question, don't have to get all up in arms about it," he teased and Paine suppressed a smile. He didn't need to be encouraged.  While Nooj watched with mild interest in the exchange, Baralai had a slight pain, a twist of his heart perhaps. Gippal seemed to be so easy around her, while he----Baralai----could do nothing but reprimand her out of his concern. And he wasn't blind, that they all had a certain relationship with Paine was transparently obvious to him. It was when he got into examining exactly what kinds of relationships those were that the answer became muddled in doubt and wonder. Silently, he made his way to her left and knelt beside her. She acknowledged his movement with a brief look---not unkind but not smiling of course---and a very slight inclination of her head before turning back to Gippal, who was too close to her in Baralai's opinion. 

Nooj had sat himself down to her right so that they all rested on the knoll together, Gippal having moved slightly forward and to the right, facing the other three. 

"I was searching," Paine finally said after a silence had covered them in its glasslike shards for an undetermined time. 

"For what?" Nooj asked, evidently interested as he turned his eyes towards Paine directly. 

"I'm not sure," she admitted a little feebly. Unusual but perceptible, this was one of those moments that the three young men were always taken by, a moment when the unflappable Paine was just a mite less the cool persona she had built herself, and a percentage more the normal human Paine who had her doubts, her worries and her dreams in life. "I think I was looking for a meaning."

"Of what? For yourself?" Nooj continued the inquiries as he turned his whole body to face her, resting his arms on his knees, drawn up to his chest. 

"It was like a dream, one I have yet to experience," Paine said slowly, testing out her words as if she weren't altogether sure they were the right ones to convey what she wanted to explain to them.

"Maybe you're having a sub-premonition," Baralai suggested. A sub-premonition was a feeling one had, not a dream necessarily, but a mere feeling of one, but a potent one that preempted something to come, usually something paramount in the life of the person, and sometimes, depending on who that person was, all of Spira. Summoners were said to have them often, but Paine was no summoner. They all knew that and so they wondered like she had been.  

"Impossible," Paine scowled. 

"Not probable," Gippal chimed in and ruffled her hair playfully. Surrendering her steel shield momentarily, Paine let a chuckle escape as she batted his hand away, giving them all a rare, beautiful smile as she propped herself up on her elbows, eyeing them all, perhaps scrutinizing them...but just a little of course. 

"Fine, 'not _probable'_," Paine rolled her eyes and Nooj laughed, as did Baralai. If the latter's was a little forced, well...no one seemed to take note.  

"Well I'm turning in," Nooj announced before standing to leave. 

"Night," Paine threw over her shoulder, casting a kind gaze in his direction, to which Nooj smiled in turn and nodded before turning away. 

"You should all go, you'll need your rest if you're training tomorrow," Paine pointed out and Baralai at least knew the hint; he knew her well enough rather, to know it was a hint, one that requested them to leave her alone. 

"Alright, in the morning then," Baralai took her hand in his and just held it for a moment because she didn't pull away and then squeezed it like a friend would, one who's trying to reassure the other of something. Paine didn't know it was Baralai who needed the reassuring though. 

"Sleep well," she called and Baralai liked to think it was something special, even when he knew very well that it was not...that for the moment Paine viewed them the same way she had throughout these past sixteen years: as friends. _Platonic relationships are so overrated_, he grimaced internally and glanced over his shoulder once more before leaving the knoll completely, more specifically: leaving Paine alone with Gippal, reluctantly. Again he felt they were too close, but maybe it was just that _he_ could never get close enough.

"You've never been the most observant man," Paine shook her head and smirked at Gippal who blinked and scratched his head thoughtfully.

"What?" he asked honestly and Paine suppressed the laughter that wanted to bubble out of her. Maybe she pretended she didn't feel because then she didn't have to hurt like she knew other people did...

"You do notice you're the only one left," Paine asserted, brushing her thoughts aside like the stray hairs that kept rebelliously falling in her eyes.

"_You're_ here," Gippal said matter-of-factly. 

"Idiot," Paine smirked and reclined on her back once more, hands forming a cradle for her head as she ignored the Al-Bhed beside her. He seemed to pause to think for a moment before rolling onto his stomach and inching up closer and closer to the side of her face, subtly...and then...he sprung into action, pulling the one deadliest move even Paine wasn't immune to: tickling. 

"Ah-ah-ah, stop it!" Paine gasped between laughs, clutching her sides, attempting to shield the rest of her ticklish self. Gippal grinned.

"Password," he answered simply and Paine rolled her eyes even as she gasped for breath. 

"Never!" her eyes were alight with a beautiful amusement and stubbornness inherent in all her ways that Gippal had come to know, indirectly and directly.

"Say it..." he insisted as he continued barraging her with his fingers, attacking her sides as he knew by now that they were her most ticklish spots. Now, what she was supposed to say was what he always made the password whenever he got any of them in a position they wanted out of, but couldn't get out without him letting them: "Gippal is the sexiest Al-Bhed in all of Spira!" Paine of course, would never relent, whether it was because she disagreed with that statement or not, however, was still unknown. 

"This isn't fair!" she laughed contagiously, finally, just letting her walls down completely. Sometimes it was too much work to hold them up...especially after building them so high around people less friendly than her immediate comrades. 

"Life isn't," Gippal stared her in the eyes as he released her from his hold, letting her catch her breath, now somewhat ragged from being unable to breath quite right while being so...accosted. Taking a rather defining gulp of air, she sighed and quirked a wary expression.

"Isn't it though?" she challenged him still. 

"Well, if life was fair," Gippal reasoned, his tone deceptively light-hearted, "Sin wouldn't exist, and people wouldn't have to fight." His eyes, swirled like all the Al-Bhed, seemed to encompass a greater meaning than he normally cared to expose; Paine did not fail to notice. 

"Point well-taken," she accepted and they sat once more in a comfortable quiet that draped itself like silk upon them. Sin...Paine did not agree with it, as it was the cause of much death and suffering...but she wondered sometimes if the power behind it had anything like the emotions of a human, any reasons and regrets that made it act the way it did. Surely there was some small inference to everything. 

"Summoner Braska's daughter sets off on her pilgrimage tomorrow you know," Gippal noted absently. Paine only nodded. The Al-Bhed turned to look at her, not for the first time as if he'd never seen her before and like every time, found something new about her to fascinate and beguile him. Something about her brought the three of them together with her. 

_What was it?_

"She'll be the one to end it," Paine's voice seemed displaced, incoherent of her own words and Gippal's eyes flashed alertly, leaning his head to one side in confusion. 

"Paine...?" he tried and she continued to stare vacantly into nothingness...scaring him a little. Gently he took her by her shoulders, shaking her slightly. "Paine!" he echoed her name a little louder and her trancelike state broke itself into pieces as she inhaled sharply, like she'd been held underwater for too long. He did not let go though, almost afraid of what could happen if he did; Gippal only asked her questions with his eyes and she shook her head as if trying to clear it of something. "Are you alright?" His voice was atypical with anxiety.

"Yes," she whispered so quietly, the wind threatened to run away with her voice but Gippal caught it and let her shoulders go softly, hands slipping down her arms briefly before he edged back a little. 

"How do you know she'll be the one?" Gippal questioned out of curiosity more than his faith in her statement.

"I just do," Paine replied simply, her face honest and pure of meaning turned upward slightly so as to look him in the eyes, as she was slightly shorter than him. Transfixed by the uncharacteristically winsome expression she wore, he leaned in a little bit, unconsciously. She didn't move back and soon they were less than an inch apart. 

"Gippal..." she began but didn't finish as he closed the distance between them. 

If she could describe his lips, they would have been inviting, she supposed inattentively as his hands came up to cradle her face gently as the kiss deepened...by whom, it was hard to tell. Strange how even the most stoic had the same hormones, the same physical attractions within them...given the right people to awaken them. Her long-time friend and playmate had in seconds transformed himself into someone completely different and Paine couldn't decide if it was for the better or otherwise...even as she became bolder herself, wrapping her slender arms around his neck, tangling her tapered fingers in his soft, short hair. Breathless, she suppressed a moan as Gippal laid tender kisses on her neck, down to her exposed collarbone. So new...almost she couldn't handle the feelings ricocheting within her, but a part of her insisted on continuing. Yet, he must have felt her uncertainty as he paused suddenly.

"I-I'm sorry Paine," he whispered and opened his mouth to say more but some primitive yet very sensuous part of his companion had taken over her and her crimson eyes did not look regretful, but wondering, and a little intrigued, a little wanting as she dipped her head to place a soft kiss, surprisingly soft coming from Paine, at the base of his lithe neck. Groaning, he fought with himself...he didn't want to lose her as his comrade; that would be far too painful and empty a void...in addition, something in him sensed the other two men, his _friends_, had feelings for the tempestuous being before him too, particularly Baralai. But...his hands encircled her waist thoughtlessly as he bent his head and kissed her again, this time with more passion...passion she met bravely with a cataclysm of her own...but he _couldn't_ stop. She wasn't making him...he reasoned desperately with himself, with the last bits of his remaining coherent thought. 

Yet another moan escaped his counterpart's lips into his own, their lust increasing... and he wondered if she was feeling anything like he was. Maybe they were acting out of frustration...misunderstanding...emptiness...anything similarly displaced...and maybe they just wanted each other...maybe that. Blinded now by both emotional and physical desire, the Al-Bhed eased her down against the lush grass as they kissed, enthralled with each other, his hands slipping her top off her right shoulder slightly, his lips tracing a path on her now moonlit flesh. A soft cry shuddered from her broken breath as her head fell back instinctually and he said something she couldn't quite hear as his hands moved expertly up and down her sides, pleasurable, no longer playful. 

Not that it really mattered at this point.

So far gone into the throes of their intense ardor, it was perhaps fortunate and unfortunate that they were interrupted, as someone's petrified yell blared through their earlier stillness, previously drowned in their own soft moans and fevered movement. Eyes snapping to sudden reality, Paine and Gippal separated like fire and ice...each slightly taken aback at their actions, and a little confused at their subsequent emotions roiling in them. 

They had to wait to examine those though. Adjusting her clothes accordingly, Paine didn't say anything but merely took off in the direction the yell had come from, leaving Gippal to pause inexplicably before sprinting after her just as Nooj and Baralai made it to the knoll. Spotting Gippal's fast running form, they followed; they too had heard the scream.

Paine hurried through the bush, so much woods and not enough path, she scowled, more than a little bit irritated, more than a little bit easier than normally she would have been. _Why did I let myself do that,_ she shivered slightly and not from the brisk wind. Yes, Gippal was attractive, even sexy, his voice had a sensuous charm to it to be sure...but weren't they always just friends? Then _what_ was _that_? Her mind reeled from it and her body still felt a lack from being interrupted, it wanted more, she realized with a mixture of admission and denial, polar-opposites. But what did she want? What do I want, she wondered obsessively. Had she known Gippal was thus attracted to her? The others? Some small part of her waved a flag of uncertainty.

She knew she loved them all, much as she joked and teased them; they were the only family she could remember, but what about more? And since when did they find her attractive? To her, the very idea was preposterous. But she knew if Gippal felt the way he expressed earlier, she shouldn't put it past the other two who had much less exacting standards, if she recalled, somewhat dryly. She really shouldn't joke about this...but how else could she handle the severity of her own feelings, considering she couldn't pin them down as of yet? Thankfully, her thoughts were invaded by a change of location...

 _I was sure it came from near here_, she thought as her feet carried her into a vast clearing. Then she heard the whimper and followed it cautiously to a particularly thick bush and lifted the front branches to reveal a small child. A boy no older than perhaps ten with black hair and blue eyes, tan skin and a slender frame sat, cowering and Paine's real self felt a wave of empathy for him. Her outer self offered a hand to him, which he took, still shaking uncontrollably. 

"Was that you who yelled?" Paine asked. The boy nodded. His clothes were torn with small bits of dried blood from place to place, wrinkles in them, but nothing that seemed terribly injured. She wondered if he would mind telling her if those small injuries he sustained were the reasons for his outcry...but he gripped her arm, tight...like a death grip. 

"I'm scared," he whimpered, eyes tearing up and Paine still asked...

"Why?" He only pointed behind her and even as she turned to see, three voices shouted simultaneously:

"PAINE! LOOK OUT!" 

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Well my first fic. Pairings will change and loop, more characters will come into the story, and this is actually not so much an AU as what could have been the four [Baralai, Gippal, Nooj and Paine's] unelaborated background. It's not unlikely that at one point or another, each man had feelings for Paine; this will explore that possibility and the very way in which they all come into who they are by the end of FFX-2 and thereafter. 

Review if you think it's worth continuing please. Thanks ;)

Paine is THE BEST! :D

-Suspendedonsilverwings aka Tae-Jung Hee


	2. Chapter Two

Reviews please! :D Wait for me I'll write you letters...Chapter Two 

Grabbing the boy, Paine dove to the right and quickly propelled him with a shove into the nearest foliage to hide. She stood to face that which Nooj, Baralai and Gippal had just yelled to warn her from...a...man? He looked like a man anyway...long platinum hair that fell past his waist against black leather, pale skin and purple eyes, a tall, slender frame, and a finely crafted sword in his hand, directed unabashedly at Paine. His feet advanced and Paine answered his movement with a shift to the left---away from the shrub she'd thrown the small boy into. Unarmed, Paine swore blithely in her head at her ignorance as a warrior...not even a warrior, unworthy of the title...a mere fighter. She could barely make out the figures of her three friends a little to the right and behind the strange man in front of her and they all looked worried. None of them were armed either. 

The man forced her to move to a point where he was circling her, vulture-like but uncharacteristically handsome with a sinister flare...and Paine scowled at him fiercely, as though she'd like nothing more than for him to melt into a consolidated puddle of existential water to be absorbed by the earth below. 

"Just let me have the boy and forget you ever saw either of us Miss," the stranger finally spoke, his voice musical in a dangerous and lofty sort of way that irritated Paine further...if that was possible. Her eyes slitting partially in their accustomed glare, she crossed her arms and focused her weight on her back foot. 

"Did you hurt him?" she demanded and the man lowered his sword and leaned on it absently.

"I believe I'm the one asking the questions here Miss," he replied and she gave a short, false laugh.

"Ha, ha...no. How about you leave this place and never come back? This is a peaceful town," she bit out, a mutinous hiss in her words. Baralai, meanwhile, was edging towards the man on one side and Gippal on the other; Nooj stayed behind. 

"I am disinclined to agree to that proposition," the man sighed, shaking his head and sheathed his sword. This gesture caught Paine off guard, as the others...what was he doing putting his weapon away? Faster than any of them could see though, he was less than inches away from Paine, her chin in his right hand, and he captured her blood red gaze simultaneously.  He seemed to examine her, scrutinizing every aspect of her finely chiseled face and the pout of her lips, the burn in her eyes...turning her head this way and that but never breaking eye contact. 

And Paine was stricken to find that she could neither look away nor pull away...it was like he was controlling her...but he wasn't pinning her down or even tying her up...she simply could not move or tear her eyes from his, mesmerized in the most reluctant fashion. 

Gippal, Baralai and Nooj attempted to close in on the man but there seemed to be an invisible wall between them and him, and thus, them and Paine...Gippal seethed, eyes never leaving the odd predicament within the invisible barrier. Baralai searched tirelessly for a flaw in it in order to get the bastard away from Paine and Nooj...checked on the boy. 

"Come on," he whispered and pulled the boy behind him, obscured from the stranger's vision, leading him away from the shrubbery where Nooj knew the man could find him easily in no time. "Now, do you know why I...why we can't get to our friend?" his eyes regarded the child not as a child, but as an equal...somehow registering the difference in him. The child's eyes analyzed the space between them and Paine and the stranger, and Nooj would have sworn he could see numbers in his eyes...formulas...answers...the child's eyes snapped shut and open again...

"A shield...like the spells for Mighty Guard and Reflect combined...but it's different...he doesn't seem to have cast anything really...it may just be him..." the child reasoned. Nooj quirked a questioning glance at the kid and stifled a short laugh.

"What's your name and how old are you?" Nooj asked.

"I'm seven...my name is Shinra," he supplied, eyes bright regardless of his sustained wounds in various places from before which Nooj only noticed once more now.

"Did he do this?" Nooj gestured and Shinra nodded an affirmative...shuddering.

"He's dangerous...scares me..." Shinra muttered...almost to himself, shaking visibly...

"Who is he?" Baralai's voice joined the semi-private meeting and he bent, hands on his knees to stand face-to-face with Shinra.

"He's..." Shinra began but was interrupted.

"I am no one of your concern; just give me the boy," his voice dripped with unarticulated threat and Gippal decided he didn't like how even though the man was talking to them, he insisted on being so unnaturally near Paine.

"Cut the drama and let Paine go," the Al-Bhed ordered, wishing he'd brought at least one of his guns with him before he had taken off, hell-bent, after Paine into the woods. 

"Miss _Paine_ is it?" the man seemed to muse as he traced his thumb and forefinger along her jaw and Paine could barely flinch; it was a similar touch Gippal had given her earlier...but cold...strange...a little frightening even, though she'd hate to admit it.

"Does it matter?" she spat out and the man frowned, displeased clearly but it transformed fast into a smirk.

"No, no it doesn't," he answered lightly and released her, breaking the gaze, causing Paine to try and move but to her horror, she realized he still held her captive...by mental bond perhaps. Still unnamed, the man flicked his wrist in a come-hither motion and Paine's body snapped forward jerkily, propelled through the air towards him by an unseen force. 

"Release me." It was a demand, an order, a command...defiant and fiery, on some cliff of anger. 

Paine had had enough. 

Shinra, meanwhile, had stepped forward...he was an intellectual genius, and having weighed the scenario, he had come to the decision to give himself up...but Baralai set a heavy hand on the boy's shoulder and shook his head. That was not how Paine would want it. Gippal thrust a fist at the invisible wall between him and the two while Baralai began to cast a spell...a high-level dispel that he doubted would have the desired affect but knew no other way. Nooj stood vacant guard over Shinra...smart the boy was, but he was still, just a boy.

"And if I don't?" the man seemed amused.

"You'll regret it," Paine's voice was a disembodied whisper and the three young men, her friends, felt their blood chill just a shade...Paine could be cold, dead-panned even...but this was worse than cold...it was not even namable. The stranger's eyes flickered, as if recognizing something and they widened, throwing him off for the first time in their less than friendly exchange. Gippal shuddered inadvertently; it was the same way her voice was for that singular instant only minutes earlier when she commented on the Summoner's daughter. It was like something was speaking through her...maybe a part of her even she didn't recognize and so, could not control...and it struck a note of fear into all three men who had known her as long as they could remember.

"She's—" Shinra began, eyes dilating, but couldn't finish as suddenly Paine lashed out with a speed that could only be innate, not practiced...delivering a hard kick to this odd person's chest and leaping over him to land behind him, striking his back with her elbow in a martial force. Vulnerable, Paine seemed to regain control of how she acted and vaulted over the taken aback foe to stand beside her comrades not noticing the way Baralai reached out to her or the excessive sigh of relief from Gippal, or the knowing look in Nooj's eyes. 

"I'm _what_?" Paine asked pointedly, staring once more at the child and he shook his head. She brushed it off. 

"Impressive Miss Paine," the stranger commented, drawling a bit as he hadn't made any move to leave the ground, sprawled in a comfortable fashion Paine would like to make uncomfortable.

"Just shut up and leave!" she growled and he laughed at her which only served to feed her displeasure.

"That I will Miss Paine, but don't think this is over...my name is Saro. Remember it," his laugh was still in his voice as he waved a hand and in a cloud of sand and smoke, he was gone.

"Bastard," Gippal cursed and Nooj and Baralai nodded their vehement agreement. Paine, for her part, whirled on the child.

"Why does he want you?" she demanded to know, a little bit viciously but this was no time to baby anyone...answers..._they_ needed them and _she_ wanted them...fast.

"He wants my _invention_, not me," the boy corrected coolly, no note of the fear he'd retained before, and Paine got a quick feeling she wasn't going to be too overly fond of the kid, if only because the intellectual half of her ego knew it was about to receive a severe beating.

"And what _is_ your invention?" Baralai asked, curious as to what the whiz kid could've created.

"I call it the Garment Grid and Dress spheres," Shinra smiled proudly. "They allow any fighter or warrior to change dress in the middle of a battle, anytime, and so use all their abilities to their fullest, gear, attire, spells, or weapons and all!" The three gave him unhidden looks of slight skepticism and the boy shrugged. "Here, I can prove it. Take this," he pressed it into Paine's hand. "Try it, just think you want to use it and it will activate." Paine tried to follow his directions, not entirely believing anything would happen.  

Colors and light erupted..."Oh I forgot to say, think either Gun Mage, Black Mage or Lady Luck! Those are the only dress spheres hooked up to that grid right now!" Shinra called and Paine did so...Black Mage suited her just fine. As fire encircled her, Shinra and the other three jumped back a bit and in the end, Paine stood there, staff in hand with a wide-brimmed dark mage hat and an outfit of intricate makings and sexy results.

"Wow," Gippal acknowledged and Shinra nodded.

"Amazing isn't it?" Shinra beamed, referring to his invention, and Baralai whispered internally, referring to the woman in front of them... as no one could hear his thoughts, _yeah, she is_.

"Interesting," Paine examined herself after an honestly surprised moment of pause...she truly hadn't expected it to work.

_Intoxicating you mean_, Gippal gaped for a moment and then shook the feeling from him, clearing his thoughts...and if Baralai noticed him staring at Paine, he made no indication. 

"Clever," Nooj admitted---the only one besides Shinra who was actually referring to the invention itself and its workings--- and seemed to ponder something for a moment. "Shinra, you're coming with us. We'll leave you in the care of someone in town...we would look after you, but for our training," Nooj explained. Shinra nodded...if somewhat apprehensively...and looked at Paine. Paine shook her head in response.

"No, sorry...but I'm with them," she pointed and quirked a half-smile. 

"Say what!?" Gippal nearly choked on air.

"_She's_ coming with _us_," Baralai transliterated questioningly...what was up with Gippal exactly, he was not certain but a more observant and easily beaten down piece of him whispered that he was protective of her. Unusually so. But like all logic that dealt with his emotions, Baralai brushed it aside, only momentarily he assured himself as always.

"I _know_ what she meant! I just...since when?" Gippal said, crossing his arms in the way he'd picked up from being around her for so long.

"Since now," Paine answered blithely and began to walk away from him and the others, trying to avoid more of...more of this.

Whatever _this_ was.

_I don't know what I'm doing, _she admitted to herself as she strode through the woods back to the knoll overlooking the town. She didn't know how she felt anymore and she didn't know where this training to be apart of what was called the "Crimson Squad" would entail exactly...but she was going. Of that she was certain. Paine refused to release her only real friends to an unknown fate that did not include her; they had always been together...and if she had it her way, it would stay that way.

Together. A hodgepodge mix to be sure. But together in an uncanny mix of perfect human relation. 

Nothing could take that away from her, from them. She had decided those years ago, when she lost the last memories of her dead family. Not even Sin would pull them apart, nor death, nothing. That was in fact, why Paine so strove to be a warrior...she had some one...no...some _ones_ to protect.

Gippal and Nooj rushed past her with Shinra in Gippal's arms, out cold from too much blood loss that had been to discreet to notice until the boy passed out right in front of them. Sending an asking gaze to Paine, Gippal seemed to beseech time and she shook her head. No more. Not tonight...she wasn't even sure that what had already happened could be explained to herself or rationalized...maybe that was even okay...to feel without logic...but at the moment she couldn't fathom it.

Time...she needed it alone...but it was not to be because as someone had once said when that very endless thing began, when it rains, it pours...

A hand rested itself on her shoulder, a warmth spreading through her at the touch contrasting with the coolness of her skin that had been too long exposed to the brisk air of the evening tide. It could not be Gippal though, who is who she first thought of...she had seen him run by with Nooj...so it could only be...

"Are you alright?" he asked and Paine could only nod. "Paine," Baralai paused and looked her in the eyes as if searching even though he knew not what for. 

"What?" she responded, her voice a little weaker than she would have liked, the day having suddenly hit her like a wall of fatigue.

"You don't need to hide anything from us...from me," Baralai said in such a soft, loving voice, Paine was thrown off. 

"What makes you think I'm hiding at all?" Paine replied, slightly injured that her friends would think her to be untruthful with them. Baralai's eyes widened in realization and he shook his head.

"No, no...I meant...you don't have to be...a warrior...all the time," Baralai finally explained slowly, choosing his words carefully, crystallizing his thoughts. 

"I wish to be," Paine said defiantly and Baralai sighed.

"If it is your wish...but still...Paine, before we were partners in this venture we're about to take to be members of this...this squad...just remember...not only for you but for all of us...for me..." he paused, his voice breaking in a layer of undertones just so slightly, but enough for Paine to notice it absently. "Just remember, we are friends before we are fighters, please?"

"Friends," she repeated the cherished word and it was like a rebirth of its meaning to her.

"Yes," Baralai nodded, pleased and took her hands in his without thinking. "We'll make it one way or another," he assured her and noticing his hands holding her own, he softly released them.

"Thank you."

I love you, he thought a little sadly because knew he couldn't say it aloud just yet.

"You're welcome...Paine. And remember...never forget."

"I won't."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

A star shot across the sky and some yards away, an Al-Bhed man watched, subconscious anxieties building within him as he watched, not knowing the nature of the exchange. And his heart wrenched as if it were being pulled in the wrong direction...down.

"Even she doesn't know how she feels...I wouldn't count yourself out just yet," a voice Gippal knew too well sounded behind him.

"Did they heal him Nooj?"

"Just about...one overnight and he's set...more importantly though...are we ready for this? We all have to be ready to die at any moment after all...and sometimes I wonder," Nooj admitted in a soft tone.

"If we're ready?" Gippal queried. Nooj shrugged slightly.

"If every time we think we're close, we're just about to start learning again...things like that...all the circles...we must be careful not to break it...especially from within," Nook warned a little more forcefully than he meant to and Gippal scowled.

"It is something to think about," he conceded as they continued to watch into the night.

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THANK YOU FOR YOUR REVIEWS! More for next chap please-eth! ^_^

Sorry about the incohesiveness….~_~

-sahros


	3. Chapter Three

Wait for me, I'll Write you Letters – _Suspendedonsilverwings _

_*******_

_"Do you remember a time_

When we said 

****

'I'll never really leave you' 

_Do you remember a moment_

_When we all could clasp hands_

_It seemed such a perfect ring of four_

Do you remember the last look 

_When we turned our backs to each other_

_And promised each other_

****

**_'I'll never forget you'_**

****

_But didn't we swear we'd never leave_

_In the first place..._

_Even as we refused to let our eyes meet_

****

_Can you still say..._

****

**_'I remember'..."_**

_*******_

 It had taken them all morning to leave the town.

Goodbyes were said, some tears fell and voices all molded together into one great din of separation anxiety and an insecure habit of pre-emptive sorrow. The foursome had always been the village's young, brave protectors from the general fiends...and they had all had their different little niches as well. Gippal had been a volunteer instructor for the young boys who wanted to learn the game of blitzball while Nooj had constantly been vigilant over the town's safety and Baralai had oddly enough, taken up a small assistance in the local temple. And Paine...the children just loved her. It wasn't that she was particularly or overly fond with any one of them, motherly or sisterly, but if the boys thought her sword was the best thing ever and the if the girls admired her deeply, well, no one would have been surprised. Paine allowed a great deal more than one would expect; sometimes the children even used her as a human jungle gym, climbing on her, latching onto her arm or perching on her shoulder.

She never thought to stop them. Kids would be kids, was her thought. And perhaps deeper in her heart she did in fact, harbor an affection for the future of Spira, harvested in these young beings who seemed to find a beautiful fascination in things so-called adults failed to notice...or seemed to have forgotten how.

Children were the closest to perfect in Paine's slightly envious eyes; she didn't want to lose that facet of humanity she saw only in these innocent, yet naively wise beings... and she already could feel it slipping through her gloved fingers...especially when she, Baralai, Gippal, and Nooj left that morning.

All of said children had come up to her that morning---some bearing flowers, a bit flattened from their small and firm grasps---some with rations their mothers provided as wordless thanks to Paine simply for being as she was---and to her shock some of them were sniffling back tears that caught the rising sunlight in sparkles on their cheeks.

"Please don't cry," she'd begged. She didn't think she'd ever beg again. But if she didn't, this was one well spent. And, completely unlike how she'd been all the time before, she had not only allowed the children to cling to her one last time, but also embraced them as best she could back. That she had learned or taught herself not to shed tears---it was a weakness for her---was a good thing, she'd found herself thinking...even if she hadn't been able to train her heart to not wrench in an everlasting, dull ache in her chest as the little ones had parted from her reluctantly, some pulled by their mothers. Others had simply stepped back.

Nooj, the oldest of all of them, had an idea of how Paine felt, and so when she had seemed to forget to stand, and just kept kneeling there blankly, he had approached her softly and merely reached out his hand to her. She didn't need to say anything to him; that's what he had been communicating, and a certain part of her comprehended that as she had taken his hand and stood, gone to stand aside Gippal and Baralai while Nooj had bid a formal farewell for all of them.

Ever the captain of the foursome, Nooj took on the role with great alacrity and know-how, diplomatic to a fault and still with the human heart to make it acceptable. He had accustomed himself days earlier to the idea of leaving; from the look on Paine's face though, Nooj could tell as she had turned to join Baralai and Gippal, she had not prepared at all. He had felt a pang of concern and sadness for her. Well, this would teach her. Nooj had still made certain that if anyone, on this journey he would do all he could for her; help in anyway. It was the least he could do, he supposed as he had looked over his shoulder at her standing there in wait.

"Are you alright?" Baralai had asked, drawn to and a little thrown by the unusual amount of emotion he could detect swirling in her eyes that seemed like those of someone placated too many times.

"I'll be fine," she had assured hm. Gippal had made a movement as if to embrace her and then thought better of it. Somehow he had known that wasn't what would comfort Paine at that moment.

 And now, now they trekked a long path that was supposed to lead to Mushroom Rock Road and bring them to the headquarters of the Crimson Squad's reporting area. A slight breeze ruffled everyone's hair but Nooj's----how he got it to stay that way, Paine would never know----and a distilled silence bound the air by invisible strings. It was as though, if someone spoke, they would sever one of those strings and so, throw the entire environment into a flurry of unbidden disorder. 

They were all very brave, to be sure. But everyone had doubts and fears and they came reeling unto the crew, many "what-ifs" and "this coulds" running through their heads as they pushed onward. Gippal's eyes subtly took in Paine through peripheral vision; she seems distracted, he noticed. Sure enough, Paine's eyes were looking without looking, feet walking without registering the movement... while she strived to practice the detachment of intrusive emotions she'd convinced herself she'd mastered years before. 

She hated it when she was wrong.

"So how long do you figure it'll take us?" Gippal asked Baralai lightly. An attempt to lift the veil of uneasy quiet.

"Not long, knowing us...we'll be there by sundown surely...and if not, tomorrow morning bright and early," Baralai calculated mentally even as he responded. 

"Do you think they choose the squads for the testing?" Paine asked, masking her anxiety at the thought of being separated from them this early. Baralai hadn't thought of that. The very idea of their team separating, of him separating from Paine was a stab to say the least; _what if_? His mind shook it off. He wouldn't let it happen. For a while, he realized, _I've been hiding these things from her for all the wrong reasons_. His subconscious nodded dryly at the latent realization. 

So maybe she did fancy Gippal, but then, maybe she didn't, but she was the only one who would really know. Baralai had just come to understand that he could never assume anything about the red-eyed warrior to his left. Sometimes he'd wanted to reach out, hold her hand, share an embrace for no particular reason. And he'd never acted on any of it. He was afraid after all. _Maybe I could tell her eventually though, on this journey of theirs----on which we will most definitely not be separated_, he squared with himself and nodded internally. One way or another, together they would be, all four of them. 

It was the only way.

"Teams, they're teams until we qualify, then they're squads," corrected Nooj informatively, and then added, "I doubt they'd object to a team like ours; we work best with each other, don't we?" he offered a Nooj-trademark smile that was really more of a grin because it always suggested he knew something extra and wasn't letting you in on the rest of the secret.

"Oh," her reply was less than articulate. Inside though...she was the hurricane she strove to compress to a light wind.  _So many things can go wrong, I don't even know that I should be doing this anymore...what if that man comes back for Shinra...the village would be in danger...maybe I should go back...alone...? _These thoughts accosted her senses and her mind staggered from the onslaught. 

"Paine!" Baralai's hand shot out and pulled her gently back by her left arm; her eyes focused again and she seemed to acknowledge him for the first time since they had begun their trek that morning...hours before. They'd been walking for at least 6 hours now, and they'd paused to set up a brief meal, but when they had, Paine---preoccupied as she was---had not noticed and kept on walking, in a dazed state. Now she stood staring wordlessly at the concerned friend in front of her. 

"Worry isn't very becoming on you, mother hen," Nooj joked from the fire as he pushed the embers around to start a strong smolder and flames flickered out in tongues of red and orange, writhing around the small dry wood they'd salvaged from the sides of the road.

Gippal said nothing. _I don't need to say anything...maybe she doesn't even remember...he thought a little dejectedly_...but he knew that was his self-pity at work; he knew she wouldn't forget their interlude...before Shinra was attacked. She had felt every bit of passion he had, he was certain...but if only it had been something more before that...more than friends, less than...than that. Maybe they wouldn't be in this awkward limbo he found himself disliking more and more; it was too unstable. And the more he thought, the more he realized Baralai's feelings for her as well and this did nothing helpful for the brooding Al-Bhed. Maybe he should say something...remind her...reach out to her...she seemed confused herself lately...maybe she just wasn't sure...and he could provide the certainty? _I could say something, but so could she_, he reasoned back and forth a bit weakly.

Until, instead, he seemed to suddenly find setting out small rations of oatcakes and some crystallized fruit...meticulously, focusing his attentions entirely on the consumptions. Nooj raised an eyebrow at the Al-Bhed's unusual detail with his actions and then put two and two together as Baralai came to the fire, Paine directly behind him. That she had been strangely silent the entire time, Nooj noted this and wondered. Paine never seemed the type to become this overwrought over anything...but he supposed the more one thinks they know someone, the less they truly know.

"Oatcake?" Gippal's one word offer was perhaps, more well-received than anything else he could have said to Paine as she offered a smile---if a little inadvertently---and took it, chewing on it thoughtfully as she turned her gaze upwards; _those stars will never fail to lift me up_, she admitted to herself softly. 

"Some day, I'm going to fly among those stars..." she didn't mean to say it aloud, but she did not regret sharing either. 

"How?" Baralai asked, a little confused.

"I don't know," she said. Gippal laughed softly.

"I do," the Al-Bhed smiled widely at her. 

"A machina, that's your answer; they'll fly you up into the sky, you can feel the clouds rushing through you and the stars, you can see them pass you by, bursts of light," Gippal explained enthusiastically; he seemed to have a fondness for these machina.

"You serious?" Paine, like Baralai had never heard of such a thing. She and Baralai shared a look of light-hearted puzzlement whilst she shrugged and he shook his head. 

"Of course I am!" Gippal nodded vehemently.

"We'll fly together one day," Nooj said, smiling with a generous sincerity that Paine realized was apart of the comfort the found in all of them at one point or another.

"Promise?" Baralai asked, like a child almost and yet with a conviction that denoted his belief and his affection for the other three who couldn't all help but share in the brief upward turn of their lips. 

"I promise," Gippal raised his right hand and winked as Gippal tended to do whenever he was sure of something.

"Me too, I promise," Paine affirmed; Nooj and Baralai of course, joined in the vow.

"I didn't realize the dark had come so early; should we press on?" Nooj inquired and they pondered.

"Why not?" Baralai finally deigned as an answer and none objected. After putting out the fire and packing up the leftovers, they set off again, at a more rapid pace---maybe because a new fire had instilled itself inside of them to reach their destination, not being the crimson squad HQ but their future as a team, as friends. They traversed through a big portion of Mushroom Rock's path until they came to a way that was defined by many options, one leading down into a rather dark ravine.

Shouldn't that have warned them away to begin with?

"What do you think?" Paine asked, peering over to the stones below that could serve as platforms and steps.

"It's not that we couldn't handle things; it's just that it's more dangerous to fight anything when you can't see it," Baralai assessed logically and Gippal was inclined to agree.

But Nooj didn't seem to hear. As the other three turned to him for his input, they only saw empty space.

"Nooj!?" Paine's stomach dropped as she glanced around rapidly.

"There!" Gippal pointed at Nooj's fast moving figure, down in the shady ravine, moving away...

"Wait!" Paine called out and jumped down into it without a second thought. Slapping his hand to his forehead, Gippal cursed something awful in Al-Bhed and Baralai sprinted after all of them, using his own swears to define his distaste for their circumstances.

It was definitely dark; night overshadowed the already present blackness and Paine had to be wary of the random rocks that seemed to jut out from the walls at leisure. Huffing a bit from the mixed exertion with the cool night air---which was a bit hard on the breathing as it constricted the lungs----she continued onward, listening every once in a while to regain a proper following of Nooj. And that...why was Nooj doing this?

"Nooj!" she called out as she bolted through an opening in a wall of rock into a clearing where the red-clad man stood, her longtime friend and teacher of the fighting ways...in front of a strangely sealed door. Her breath was a little short and he turned to stare at her. Blood cooling to a temperature below that of what surrounded her, Paine's eyes turned from confused, to worried, to a little frightened. Nooj was not himself...his eyes were blank...his face was locked in an expressionless way, and...Nooj never looked at her like that.

"**Paine, don't be afraid**," his voice was a sinister, yet sensuous whisper not his own. 

Something had to be wrong. She tried to circle him.

"**Simply accept me**," he insisted, almost a threat. The distance between them was minimizing by the second.

"Nooj..." she tried, "Wake up!" she demanded, searching all the while for what could possibly be controlling him. But the dark obscured almost everything from her. He approached her.

_Where are Gippal and Baralai_? She wondered desperately...she couldn't hurt Nooj!

Her heart went out to them, hoping they were alright and hoping they'd get there sooner than later. Much sooner. She could smell Nooj at this point, the way he always smelled...good...but...this time with a layer of something else that made her shudder.

Presently she backed up, trying to keep a good distance between herself and 'Nooj' until she backed all the way into the wall of rough and uneven rock behind her. 

"**Paine, just come with me**," he continued to cajole her in that darkly soft, hostile whisper. 

_Fine_, she thought angrily; this was not Nooj...and if it was, this was not him acting as he advanced again.

She drew her sword. Nooj didn't have a weapon it appeared...until he pulled out the firing machina. And she couldn't swing at him...possessed or not...she couldn't...Paine's vision blurred a bit and she wiped the wetness away irately; now was not the time to be even more weak. Even as he raised it to aim at her, point blank range now, barrel at her heart.

"Nooj," she choked out. This wasn't him, this was someone else, and why would they ever want her dead anyway? She was no one important...strong, a warrior, but there were many of those...it couldn't end like this...

"NOOJ!" an angry and stricken voice rang out as Gippal hurdled into the clearing, drawing his gun and taking quick aim. "Stop it Nooj, stop it now," he half-pleaded, half demanded.

"Don't shoot!" she stipulated even as the barrel was pushed harder against her skin...why wasn't Nooj shooting? And then she looked in his eyes...they flashed from purple...not Nooj's eye color most importantly...to his real eye's hue, and back again...back and forth. He was fighting the fiend inside of him, Paine realized and again ordered that Gippal refrain from firing.

"Paine!" Baralai ran, dust kicked up behind him, to join them, all of them there now. His suffering expression told her many things she'd chosen to ignore for so long. "Stop it Nooj! Release her!" Baralai's eyes flashed dangerously as he approached Paine and Nooj. 

"It'll be okay," she assured him as Baralai's steps stopped short as he noticed the threat to her life so immediate. His breath caught and he could not find it again. Gippal aimed his own machina at Nooj again and Paine shook her head furiously, trying to explain that this man was not Nooj...but that he had his body and they couldn't destroy that. 

All this in a moment even as the following events happened so fast, Paine almost missed them, except for that she was apart of them.

Nooj---or rather whatever demon was inside of Nooj---cocked the gun, index finger resting none too lightly on the trigger.

Paine hated to be cowardly...to not live up to that which she knew she had to be...or had persuaded herself she had to...but some of her last defenses found themselves crumbling as she closed her eyes, not sure what she was supposed to expect anymore.

All in a second a shot was fired and the cold of the barrel left her chest.

"No!"

----------------------------------------

What think you? Let me know; you know the way ::points to review option::

Want next chapter? ^^;

-Suspendedonsilverwings


	4. Chapter Four

_Wait for me, I'll write you letters_-**Suspendedonsilverwings**

A gun shot. A cry. A yell. A silence. 

Light flashed everywhere and it was Sin and they all knew it...possession, mutiny, poison...all Sin. 

But that was all.

Paine awoke to find herself in some sort of encampment. Orders could be heard, shouted over what appeared to be some type of makeshift parapet and the clank of armored bodies rattled her hypersensitive eardrums. A groan escaped her and slowly, she managed to prop herself up on her side, elbow as her aid. Apparently the flurry around her was not so distracting as to avoid her being noticed, for as soon as she made that slight adjustment to her position, a gruff, middle-aged man knelt to the ground beside her, eyeing her curiously. 

"So you've finally come around, eh?" he was not unkind.

"Er...yes. It would seem that way...where am I?" she inquired, marveling at how the world kept moving about her while she was stationery, surely a side-effect from whatever put her here...wherever this was. The man seemed to consider several things before answering her, stroking his chin in contemplation and for a moment, glancing around as though to seek another's authority. 

"You were found at the edge of one of the cliffs on Mushroom Rock...thought you were dead to be honest...that bullet didn't even go all the way through; lucky I guess," the man was going to continue but Paine jerked suddenly; bullet?

"Bullet? I was shot?" she asked dumbly...she remembered nothing of the sort...in fact..."Was there anyone else there?" she also questioned...because the fact was, she could not remember.  A tad suspiciously, the soldier frowned.

"You saying you don't remember...anything?" he assessed. After a second's pause, Paine nodded.

"Well, I remember my name," she offered.

"Mother of all Spira...alright then...fine, better than nothing I'm guessing," he responded in a mixture of reluctant belief and wonder. 

"Paine," she supplied. Raising an eyebrow, the man gave way to a slight and deep chuckle.

"Fair enough," he said and then added, "I presume you were on your way here when you...were shot...this is the first encampment of the Crimson Guard and I am Saithos," he informed her. 

_Mushroom Rock...Crimson Guard...it does seem to ring a bell...sort of_, Paine mused and refrained from rolling her eyes.  

"So?" the man prompted. Evidently he wasn't willing to take his own assumption for the truth; Paine admired that quality immediately; this was definitively a good soldier before her.

"Yes, I was," she answered; why not? A part of her couldn't help but wonder why she was alone though...and while a part of her spat in emptiness that she always had been, always would be...another part called folly and told her otherwise.

Without her memory though, Paine recognized her position...a little too close to helpless as to which feeling to go with. 

On the other side of the rather enormous set-up of camp and armory, a certain Al-Bhed man kicked an empty can in front of him in irritation; he'd been here for two days, not knowing what was going on, recalling scarce his name. He couldn't even remember what he was here for. Having given up the prospect of getting those memories back, he offered to join this 'Crimson Guard.' Or so they called it. He had decided he did not like the Maester...Kinoc was it? Scowling, he shrugged it off; not that it mattered. The man was as stupid as he was round and Gippal would be damned if he ever took direct orders from the so-called Maester. Keh. Still...his one good eye surveyed the busy and ever-squalling mess the camp seemed to operate as...and not for the first time, he felt his vision was searching for something or someone...even if his mind refused to put a name to it. 

And then there was that other nagging feeling...that it wasn't just some _one_ he was looking for...but a handful of important some _ones_. Cursing a few choice Al-Bhed phrases, he stomped rather moodily into the fray of activity; maybe making himself useful would take his mind off of things he couldn't even remember.

"Hey, ye've already signed up, what're you hangin' around fer?" a young but sturdy man in chain-mail addressed a taller, thoughtful man in front of him. The one being spoken to adjusted his thin, square spectacles; they seemed to be forever sliding down his nose. 

"I was wondering when I would be informed of my team," he answered, adjusting his weight to lean on the cane to his side he had woken up with in the camp. 

"Ye'll be informed as soon as all the others!" was the response and so the other turned away. "Wait a secon', ye did not put a last name, och?" 

"I don't remember it."

"Ah, ne'er mind. 'Tis naught but a wee problem...so 'tis just Nooj? I cannae call ye nothin else to address ye when ye be called?" the soldier eyed the form in scrutiny. 

"Nooj will be all, thank you," and the man in red with his cane and spectacles walked away. He didn't remember having a cane before; then again he didn't remember anything barely; but still...he eyed the cane with distaste. It had taken him not long to adjust to it and yet...he knew it was a definite weakness. And so he hated it. _Why live in weakness when you can die in strength,_ he pondered more lightly than he ever meant to as he walked to find something he wasn't sure of and to wait his call, not caring to note how his previous thought hung over his subconscious like clouds heavy with dark rain.

"Baer-ah-lie?" the woman frowned and the silver-haired man nodded.

"Yes, Baralai," he affirmed. What was so strange about that? He knew there were other people with more...unique names...none came to mind, but not much did of late. To his chagrin, when he woke, not two and a half days earlier, he was in the Crimson Guard...well, first someone explained to him what it was and now here he stood, registering. Running his fingers through his hair, he stifled a sigh of anxious restlessness. He felt like he was missing something, someone...that he should not be there signing these sheets by his lonesome. Yet he was...he turned to leave...and bumped into someone.

"Excuse me," he apologized formally, distantly, and the woman retorted.

"Stop daydreaming...not everyone here is as nice as I am when people run into them," her voice had a somehow familiar sarcastic and dry lilt to it...her eyes were a very deep red. 

"Who are you?" he questioned. Pushing past him, she mumbled something.

If he could trust his rather sharp ears even as he walked away----perhaps not entirely of his own volition----he could have sworn she said:

_"I don't remember."_

Days passed; Paine could still remember no more than her name; it was grating on her nerves. Saithos would check on her from time to time, beginning to fill a sort of surrogate older-brother/father image or motif that suited him...regardless of his gruff and sometimes unforgiving exterior. Paine's wound had healed miraculously and she could be found training with the best most of the day, each day...as if fighting would bring something back to her...at least it was gratifying. The clash of the steel and the ring of the blades, the whirlwind of their movement...a sword dance. 

It was at the end of one such training that a higher officer she did not know approached her and tapped her on the shoulder. 

"What?" why waste time on courtesies, Paine thought dryly. 

"You've been accepted to undergo the trials for the Crimson Squad," the woman said and Paine's eyes widened a bit involuntarily. 

"I have a team then?" Paine asked. 

"You will be the recorder," the woman instructed as though not hearing Paine's question. 

"R-recorder?" if Paine could sputter, that was it. _A recorder?_

"You'll accompany the team and on spheres like these," the woman held up a deep red one, "you will capture their efforts in order for us to decide them worthy or not," the woman finished. Paine exerted all her self-control...surely they were joking...her, _a recorder_? To capture _others'_ efforts? What of _her own?_

"Am I not to fight alongside my team?" Paine persisted and the woman fixed her with a glare colder than icy, more emotionless. 

"You are not," she affirmed, eyeing Paine levelly. And Paine yielded. As the woman turned her back to her, she shot out one last order.

"Report to the main tent, there you'll be assigned your team then."

Reluctant, Paine made her way shortly after the woman had left, towards said main tent. _Well, what they can't see, they cannot penalize anyone for,_ Paine figured wryly and knew that one way or another, she would fight...it was in her nature, this much she simply knew, did not need to remember...knew. Warrior...Paine...yes, she would be.

The main tent was a ridiculously grand thing that suited the Maester's strange and yet expected taste for the finer, unnecessary, languishing luxurious things in life...even, Paine thought amusedly, in the battle area. Standing many feet times her size, it was immense, a centerpiece that could not be ignored, a brash and muddy yellow against a fire-orange red. If that was crimson, Paine would presently eat both her left and right boots. 

Coming to full attention, Paine stood amongst a few other people outside the tent. Saithos emerged from the tent and staved Paine's approach with a gesture as he moved to one side and to her irritation, Kinoc also appeared. 

"The next team will be as follows: those by the names of Nooj, Gippal, and Baralai come forward," Kinoc ordered. An Al-Bhed with a familiar scowl, a tanned and silver-haired man with an impassive expression, and a tall, angst-ridden man in red with small square frames on his face ascended the minute platform. 

"Three?" the woman beside Kinoc prodded him pointedly with her elbow and Kinoc glared before issuing another name.

"And Paine."

The three men looked to Paine as she walked to join them. All four faced each other. And in turn, they each shook hands, repeating their names unnecessarily.

"Nooj."

"Gippal."

"Baralai."

"Paine."

Then after a segment of quiet sizing up and scrutiny, they all seemed to be on the same page as they said, "nice to meet you."

"Your trials begin tomorrow," Kinoc little more than yelled and then submerged back into his gaudy tent. 

Paine turned to go retrieve her things to bring to their central area and a hand reached out to grab hers. Eyes cast over her shoulder, she faced the Al-Bhed. 

"You're not just our recorder...are you?" he posed the question lightly.

"I am who you will make me to be," she returned and escaped his grasp. Why he had done that, Gippal almost couldn't fathom...something about the woman...the red eyes...the sensuous cold in her voice...and an amused wryness. They seemed oddly familiar. 

But they had just met...hadn't they?

That night the four lay about a fire in a similar formation of one not that long ago, but for them all, it seemed the first time...each internally fighting with the lack of memories they knew to be inside their head and their hearts.

In a far outreach of the camp, the man with purple eyes who had threatened them before in many ways stood vigil over what seemed like nothing and was, in reality, everything. Purple eyes grazing the sea of life beside that which would destroy it all...Sin as its master...the once formless being of hatred and malice...now a tangible creature of darkness…and the man was its eyes for now.

And in his eyes he put the vision of a young summoner coming to rid Spira of its manifest, accompanied by a young man from another world, and a motley crew of guardians...Ronso...unsent...black mage...blitzball player...Al-Bhed...

In his eyes the purple-vision also let images of a quartet once knit so close by threads so strong... they could foil everything Sin stood for, aimed to do...but each one now sat lost to each other in their broken remembrance they could not grasp...even so close...vicious irony. 

A nauseous and sweet laugh trickled from his lips. 

The threads would break. Strong...or not.

As for the summoner...a vivid image of Yuna, daughter of Braska flashed across his perspective...sending the souls of those ravaged and torn in Kilika Port...how quaint.

Closing his eyes and so closing off his vision from Sin, the man relaxed in to a reclining position.

"And the spiral will continue."

A whisper so soft...it was like death.

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THANK YOU FOR ALL THE REVIEWS!!!! THEY'RE WHAT MADE THIS CHAPTER COME :D

Aw, ya know my ego-drill: next chapter? If you like this, tell me through your reviews and comments or whatever they call them on ff.net and I'll answer the call. I almost can't believe you like it haha and have to read the reviews sometimes to  remember you actually do ^^;

[silly me, oy.]

-Suspendedonsilverwings


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